1) Create Your Safe Space
Creating a safe space that you can control, particularly a physical space where you can relax helps you dedicate time to yourself—your thoughts, your needs and your emotions. Start with your own home, take a minimum of 15 minutes to carve out a space just for you. Your bedroom, living room when no ones home - even the bathroom will do. Put up pictures that trigger happy thoughts, use candles or aromatherapy and play music that puts your mind at ease. Try writing about your feelings, your emotional responses to things that happened throughout your day.
2) Set Small Goals, Work Your Steps
While it’s great to be a dreamer and aim high, the problem with that advice is that it makes us look so far ahead that we forget it takes work to get there. Setting small goals helps us focus on what we need to do now. The reality is no one is exactly where they want to be! If you’re expecting to go from 0 to 100 real quick then you’ll be constantly disappointed. There are 99 other steps you have to take before you get to where you want to be. So buckle down and work your steps.
Write down what you need to do now to reach your ultimate goal. Then take that step, cross it off the list and repeat.
3) Stop The Blame Game
When things don’t work out, the easiest option is to find something or someone to blame it on be it your parents, friends or girlfriend/boyfriend. No matter what other people do, ultimately your actions are yours and yours alone. And blame will get you nowhere; it’s just a waste of time and energy.
If you know the problem, great: go back to tip #2. Start thinking about solutions, setting small goals and working your steps - instead of blaming someone for it and staying stuck.
4) You Set Your Limits
Don’t be the person that’s in your way. There are plenty of other obstacles you’ll need to overcome. Most of the goals you want to achieve are possible. Now they may not come exactly how you want them to but you can be successful. In many cases you won’t allow yourself to want. Maybe you feel you don’t deserve it or maybe those around you haven’t been supportive. Telling you your dreams aren’t realistic or you should take it slow.
Remember that you control your path. Success at anything takes work, dedication and intention (Intention is a mental state that represents a commitment to carrying out an action or actions in the future. Intention involves mental activities such as planning and forethought). If you want something set your goals and work your steps, at the pace that’s best for you.
5) Get Emotional, But Don’t Let Your Emotions Get You
You emotions are apart of you and that will never change, so in order to control them you must embrace them. If you’re mad go ahead and scream, if you’re sad let yourself cry. What you shouldn't do is let your emotions control your moves and judgement.
Your emotions can be tricky though, leading you to base things on feelings rather than facts. This clouds your judgement and can keep you in toxic cycle.
6) More Life
Life will knock you on your ass again and again and again! In the midst of your grinding make sure you enjoy the life you have right now! Do something you’ll enjoy just because. Go outside and look up at the sun or the stars, plan a kickback with your squad or laugh until you cry.
7) Let That Shit Go
Everyone gets angry and frustrated. It’s a part of life. But anger takes up so much mental energy and barely leaves room for anything more. It can stop your growth process and block your blessings. So holding on to that resentment only hurts you.
8) Love Who You Are
Look in the mirror or in your phone everyday and say I love you. Touch every part of your body and tell it you love it. It sounds weird, but self love is not easy to accomplish. Loving who you are at every stage of your growth journey is important and helps keep you motivated.
9) Block The Negativity
Negativity will latch onto your spirit and never let go! It will keep you wallowing in self pity with no forceable path to progress. Negativity can come from those around you. Simply having a conversation with someone who’s constantly complaining can impact your mood. Learn to set healthy boundaries and step away from people when your mental health is in jeopardy.
If the negative thoughts are coming from you, work at stopping them immediately. Remind yourself that things are happening through you and around you not to you. Don’t allow yourself to stay in that victim mentality. Focus on what you can control
10) Make a Routine
We need our routines. The most productive people out there have routines that guide them from the moment they wake up to the moment they go back to bed.
The more you control your time, the more you can get done; the more you get done, the happier you will be. Control over your life is always great for stability and mental health. Just remember to create a realistic routine which will help you to stay consistent.
Don’t try to implement all these steps at once. Pick 3 and move on to our Stress Reduction Worksheet now!