My Ego Be Like
The ego is a funny thing…but not really
During a recent session with an energy and wellness practitioner I was told that my ego investment was attached to very specific outcomes. My response: “I’m working on moving with intention so that’s amazing” - cue Ego by Beyoncé the Ye version. Her response “no dear… it's not” . She went on to explain that when your ego is attached to something everything outside of that outcome will seem like a failure. This type of mentality keeps you stuck because in your eyes, you always fall short.
I’ve always considered my ego to be perfectly balanced. Strong enough to be my own hype woman but not so much that I come off as egotistical to others. At the same time, I identified with the sense of failure when things didn’t go as I planned them - this left me hella confused. Instead of waiting until my next session I did a little research and unpacking on my own.
In case you were wondering an ego is defined by our perceptions of ourselves and how we are seen by the world. Ego investments impacts what we believe, the way we act and how we respond to situations specifically in difficult times. Typically people stake their ego on character or physical attributes and/or tangible things that they want to define them rather than their principles which make up who they actually are. In my case I have an ego investment in my ability to lead - good. I also have an ego investment in being a perfectionist - translation: wanting shit to go exactly how I plan it or I consider it a massive fail - bad ( I’m working on removing negative words like bad from my vocab but in this case it's necessary). Perfectionism does not suit me because I’m still learning how to accept my failures without becoming completely crushed by them. So you understand that your ego can work for you and against you depending on the circumstances.
I reached out to the practitioner via text because I needed some follow up. She said “Shakira you already have the intuitive answers in you, continue to work on clearing your energy”. In that moment I didn't find her response helpful. After much thought, I've realized it all comes back to balance. It’s perfectly fine for me to believe I am better than others regarding things I work hard to achieve. Self worth is important and allows you to strive for bigger and better! Now I should not invest my ego so deeply into my beliefs that I cannot recognize the need for change. Change is often a sign of growth, scary but necessary.